Soccer Startup

Today marked a new season of soccer for Patrick. He did well. He assisted on four goals. His team jumped out to a 6-0 lead before settling for a 7-1 halftime lead. They slowed down in the second half only scoring six goals on their way to a 13-1 rout. The only goal scored on his team came while Patrick was on the bench. I would like to think that it is solely a reflection on him, but probably not.

Patrick is more interested and focused on the game this year. Is it his maturity or an increased interest in the game? No. It is the fact that he doesn't have one of those stupid green jerseys that they had to wear last year. There are no distractions for him now.

You can't see him in this picture, but Patrick is streaking between two defenders to steal the ball.

I'm pretty sure Samantha will be playing soccer next year. She likes to play and has some great kicks.

For Bean's part, I don't know if she'll ever play. She just likes being a booger.

Why do we fall?

Last night we attended Chas' farewell party. This party, thrown by my mother has become an annual event just before Chas returns to his difficult sojurn in Hawaii. I would like to take a moment to thank Jeff for coming to the party. Oh, wait. Nevermind. Knowing that we would be there late Kate decided to jog the 5 miles to the party, while I drove the kids over. We passed her about halfway there, and she motioned us to go on. After we waited quite a while at the party Kate finally ran in, sweaty and out of breath. 'Nice of you to join us' I quipped before seeing a huge gash on her left leg. She also showed us some road rash on her shoulder, and a nice goose-egg on her head. She had tripped on an uneven sidewalk just blocks from the party and rolled to a stop. The afternoon commute was in full swing, but none of the drivers in the hundreds of cars that passed could be bothered to stop and see if she was okay. After crying for a few minutes she decided that no one was going to help her, so she continued on her way. Fortunately the damage wasn't as bad as it looked, and she was ready to get back to the gym tonight. But from now on when she goes running outside, I will insist that she carry her cell phone.

A Bunch of Ice Holes

Rarely do I find a TV series that holds my interest. Since I finished watching all episodes of The Twilight Zone I have been without quality TV. This time the History Channel came through for me. I am hooked on Ice Road Truckers. For those who have not heard of this show, it chronicles the working season of a bunch of guys (and a token woman) who drive big rigs across frozen lakes in Canada’s northwest territories. These truckers supply remote diamond mines that are inaccessible by road for 10 months of the year. The goal of the season for the truckers is to get 10,000 loads across the lakes before the ice melts. It is riveting stuff.

Hugh Rowland, Ice Road Veteran

Tonight I entered my room to find Patrick watching a recorded episode of the show. He then gave me the rundown, word for word, about how a tanker had gone through the ice, and the proceedings of the recovery efforts. He also told me about how Jay Westgard is hauling a 95,000 pound ore crusher and how Alex is hauling an old cam shack. What the hell is a cam shack?




This week’s episode featured a meltdown between Rick Yemm and his boss Hugh Rowland. The two shouted at each other over the phone, and since this is the History Channel, the profanity was ‘bleeped’ out. Kate looked at Mr. P. who was glued to the show and commented that he was going to start talking in ‘bleeps’.

Later that night while she and I were canning pepper jelly she kept burning herself while trying to extract can lids. Each time she did she would yell “Ow! Mother F’er!” or “Oh, sh’t!” So I pose the question: What is worse: Patrick talking in ‘bleeps’ or using partial swear words like “F’er”?

In the mean time check out Ice Road Truckers, even if you think you won’t be interested. You’ll be hooked. Reruns are on Sundays.

Talk to you later, (bleep)heads.

It has 'Bean' two years!

Last night we celebrated Lauren's second birthday in fine fashion. We had a ton of people at the house, and we all ate too much. Bean didn't like being the center of attention. While all of the kids were diving on the candy that was spraying from her pinata, Lauren was across the room, playing by herself.

I asked my good friend Don to take some pictures, but I guess his Parkinson's was acting up, because they were all blurry.

The Ballerina goes to School

This past week marked a new milstone for the Shirley family. Samantha started preschool. Now only the Bean is left. Samantha was excited about her first day of class. She dressed in her pink dress and had Kate 'flip' her hair. She also had Kate run down and buy her a backpack (because preschoolers have a lot of homework...).

Many of the parents who were dropping kids off for the first day of school were crying. Kate's were tears of joy. Many of the kids were crying about being left at a stranger's house for preschool, but in typical Shirley fashion, Samantha hardly even noticed when Kate left.

And in case you are wondering what is on Samantha's wrist, no, she's not diabetic. It is her ride admission band from Circus Circus (see the Las Vegas post from 3 weeks ago). We figure it will fall apart one day...

The Fruits of our labors

Shortly before the end of the school year Whitney came home with a small plant in a cup. The plant was accompanied by instructions on how to register for a contest. The contest was to see which child could grow the largest cabbage plant. We planted the cabbage in the garden and Kate went online to register for the contest. However, the deadline for the contest entry was one day before the plant was sent to our house. But the cabbage was in the ground, so we let it be.

Now we have a giant cabbage in the garden that is ready for harvest and Kate and I have no idea what to do with it. Really, does anyone actually eat cabbage? The unfortunate thing about it is that the plant is now big enough that Whitney might have been able to win the contest.

Overall this has been a very successful planting season. I am not a green-thumb, and do not enjoy such things as mowing the lawn and weeding the flower gardens. But I must admit that I enjoy maintaining the vegetable gardens. We have two gardens now, one for salsa materials and another for pumpkins, watermelons and whatever the kids bring home from school (Patrick brought home a pea plant which has been overrun by pumpkins).

The salsa garden has been going gangbusters this year. I have already harvested more peppers than all of last year. The banana and salsa pepper plants have produced so much that the tomatoes haven’t been able to keep up. So since I can’t make salsa yet I have been pickling them. I may have to start selling them soon. Any takers?

Feed me, Seymour!

Bad Music, worse album covers

Recently a friend sent me an e-mail with a link to a list of the worst album covers of all time. I have attached some of my favorites with my commentary. The complete list can be found at: http://www.coverbrowser.com/covers/worst-album-covers

Looks like the guy in the middle dominated ‘Stuffparty 1’.

He should have stayed dead…

I think I saw the original of this on a classmate’s algebra notebook in the 8th grade.

Boy, Gene Simmons isn’t aging well…

Oh, I know what’s next…Elephant dung!

It was actually better than the Ethel Merman rap album.

They used to be known as ‘The skanky six’, but my mother was thrown out.

No comment needed here.

Why is ‘Mr. Bat’ dressed like Mr. Clown?

The mustaches I can deal with, but the arm pit hair must go.

What's that guy doing alone on the sofa with a gay dog?

What does she mean ‘back to’? My guess is that everything from her has been shit. And why is it that the word 'shit' has to be edited for the album cover but a picture of her dropping the kids at the pool is accepable?

Wow! How many 'facets' can one man have?

…y gracias por la ropa!

Please don't befriend me.

Fortunately for me I go to the ‘City Church’.

Does Kevin Costner know that they stole his picture from the JFK poster?

I promise to keep him away from Ozzy...

Hallelujah! The Lord is coming again, and we’re hoping he brings lunch.

The only gynecologist to wear sunglasses while working.

Is it 'M C (emcee) Pooh' or 'Mc Pooh'? Either way it sounds like what happens after too many big macs...