Answer the damn question! If you’re looking for a job pay attention…

This week has been a real pain. I equate this week to gas pains. Sometimes you can feel the gas in your gut, and though you try, and the gas is causing really painful cramping, you just can’t let it go. But when you are finally able to break wind, you are so happy to be rid of it that you forgot how painful it really was. That’s how this week was. Now that the long weekend has arrived (those of us who live in Utah get Monday off due to ‘Pioneer Day’) the aggravation of the past week is starting to fade.

I spent this week interviewing candidates for an open position on my team and simultaneously interviewing for a promotion for myself. It’s an entry-level position I am trying to fill, but I still can’t understand why it is so hard to find good help these days.

Human Resources claims that they are screening applications before sending them to me, but all that means is that 1) the person has some kind of post-high school education or 2) they have some experience. That’s it.

I compare the hiring process to American Idol. When applications come to me it is like the first auditions of the show. Some get my approval, some may not have my blessing but show promise and therefore get squeaked by to the next round, and others are like William Hung.

The first screening of mine has nothing to do with skills or abilities. On my first pass I simply look at the quality of the application. It’s not that difficult, but it amazes me how many people can’t fill out an application. When you apply for a job on our website, the program walks you through the application, and people still screw it up. If people don’t follow the directions, or repeatedly misspell words, they are out. I don’t care if they have a PhD. It always makes me laugh when someone has filled out an application incorrectly, but notes, “I am detail oriented.” Detail oriented? Like when the application says, “Education (post-high school only)” and you listed “East High School, 2002”? It’s a little thing, but it drives me crazy.

After the first pass, I walk away from my desk, to resume the screening later. Those who filled out the applications properly have their tickets to L.A., (so to speak) and a chance to make the next cut. When I return to the screening I begin to look at experience. I work in a hospital, so I look for related experience, but I won’t necessarily exclude someone if they don’t have it. Customer Service is a big deal in what we do, so that accounts for a lot. Once I have this cut down I will call for interviews.

Just because I call a person doesn’t mean that they get an in-person interview. The phone call is the verbal interview. I tell the applicant about the job, the hours, the dress code, the holiday coverage, the organization and some expectations. If in the course of the conversation the person indicates to me that it might not work out, I find it is best to just say to the person, “This doesn’t sound like a good fit for you because…” It is more honest and saves a lot of wasted time. Also when it comes to the phone interview, people get one call. That’s it. I will leave a message and a phone number if he or she doesn’t answer, but I don’t chase people down, regardless of how good the application is. The oneness is on the applicant, and if he or she is not going to return my phone call, then I know that he or she won’t be any good to my department in follow-through. On to the next round.

This is the face to face interview. This is show time. When people perform poorly at this stage I wish that I could be like Simon Cowell and say something like, “This is your big chance, and I just wasn’t impressed.” Or “That was awful.” If someone is late to the interview he or she is going to have to be damn good in the interview to get through. Presentation is a big deal to me. Dress appropriately. I don’t want to see your boobs, nor do I want to see you in a shirt that looks like you just pulled it out of the bottom of your laundry hamper. It sounds mean, but that’s how it is. If a person presents at a job interview looking hung over, what is going to happen on a day to day basis?

The most important thing to me in an interview is whether or not a person can answer the question. I don’t ask a lot of questions, but all of my questions ask for specific examples. For example, I say, “Tell me about a specific time where you had to handle high stress on a recent job. Tell me about the people involved, the circumstances and how you were able to handle the situation.” When people give an answer like, “I think I handle stress well. I have a hectic job now, and I never let it bother me.” I think that’s great, but it doesn’t help me find out about you, except that you are not paying attention. And I don’t prod. Some people will prod an applicant for additional information. If I get a partial answer, I will let it stand. I will always pause to give him or her an opportunity to elaborate, but if not, that’s fine.

I also look for honesty. If I say, “Sometimes people just need a hand. Tell me about a time where you were able to extend that kind of support to a person with whom you worked.” If you don’t have an example, say so. It doesn’t mean you will get a poor score for that question. Nobody has all the answers, so just be honest. I can tell when an applicant is bullshitting me.

I find that I am always more satisfied with applicants who ask questions. I ask the applicant if he or she has any questions at the beginning and conclusion of the interview. People sometimes forget that an interview goes both ways. While I am looking for the best fit for a job, the applicant should also be evaluating whether or not they truly want the job. When someone doesn’t ask questions about my management style, more detailed questions about the job, or the direction of the department, I wonder if he or she wants any job, or this job. Some of the best interactions I have had have been started by the applicant asking a question.

Don’t curse in an interview. It shows a lack of professionalism. Also, don’t use derogatory language. I had an applicant who continually referred to his female co-workers as “The chicks in my office.” No wonder he was looking for a new job. I have had applicants use terms such as, “the guy that I think was gay”, “dick” and “bitch.” You may laugh, but people have said it.
And for the love of all that is holy, please refrain from using the word, “like” more than one time per answer. I would prefer that you just tear out my fingernails than say that word in every sentence.

It won’t prevent you from being invited back for a second interview, but if there is any uncertainty eat a mint before coming in. Thank you.

After each interview I review my rubric and give a letter grade based on the answers given and other things such as punctuality. Then I look at the top three candidates (and sometimes more if there was a greater pool of talent) and green light them to the next round.

This round doesn’t involve the applicants, at least not at the current time. At this point it is all about the applicant’s past. References are a big deal. Early on I made some mistakes by not paying enough attention to references. The thing I hate most about the reference stage is that most employers won’t give a reference. Nobody wants an applicant to claim that he or she did not get a job because a previous employer gave a bad reference. It’s stupid and in this litigious society a necessary policy. If you work(ed) for an employer who won’t give a reference, you need to provide a reference list of three or so people who can vouch for your integrity. And don’t list your mother. Again, you laugh, but they’ve tried it. It may seem harsh, but I won’t bring someone forward unless I get a fair and objective reference. I’ve been burned too many times before. Honesty again is big here. If you list John Smith as a former supervisor, I don’t want to hear from John Smith that he wasn’t really your boss, but he worked in the same department. It raises red flags.

After the references check out the top candidates go on to the final round. This is their last chance to perform their song and dance. And I have nothing to do with this round. Just like American Idol I let the public decide. I take a team of three high performers from my employees and let them conduct the peer interview. We’ve been doing this for about two years now, and I love it. It gives the employees a chance to have some stake in the success or failure of a new employee. When employees select the new hire, they want that new hire to be successful and are more willing to take them under their wing. I have found that it really does reduce the amount of “eating of the young” that is so often the case. Another side benefit of the peer interviews is that it takes me out of the role of bad guy for those not selected. I know it’s awful, but the applicants know the peers made the decision, so I can call the runners-up and break the news to them with less pain. It’s completely selfish on my part.

Even if you get all the way to the final interview and didn’t get the job, a quick thank-you note can go a long way. I am not soliciting chocolates, flowers or any other kind of gifts. But I have had cases where I have had three well qualified applicants for one open position, and I have forwarded applications of those not selected to my co-workers. If I get a thank-you card or e-mail I will send it on with the application.
It may seem like I am a real jerk because of how harsh I am in the interview process. As my mother-in-law likes to remind me, I am a “real horse’s ass!” I have been told by many who have interviewed with me that I am very difficult to read. But it is important to me to get the right person for the right job. I have no doubts that I have passed on people that might have been a help to my team simply because they blew the interview (or blown it even earlier). I also know that some people have been able to slip in to positions even though they don’t deserve to be there. But by being strict in my hiring practices I find that I can keep this to a minimum. I really think that I am doing something right. During my tenure in my current position, I have had ten employees that I have brought on to my team who have been promoted to supervisor or manager within our department, and more who have been promoted to other departments. Currently we have ten supervisors in the department excluding me, and six of them have reported to me. I don’t say this as a brag. I say it because it validates to me that I am getting the highest quality people.
I really do like to help people. If you would like to contact me to discuss this further, if there is something that you think I can help you with, or even if you want to argue with me, please do so. I would love to discuss it. cshirley97@msn.com