The Importance of Enunciation

When out for a drive with the family unit if I notice one that one of my children has escaped from a seatbelt, I don’t yell and scream. I inform the kids that I am going to find the next policeman, and any child not strapped in will be turned over to him. Generally this empty threat works, especially when we actually see a Highway Patrolman, SL County Sheriff or Sandy PD.

Last Sunday I made my usual threat when I realized that Samantha was out of compliance. “Okay,” I said. “I’m going to find a policeman.”

“For who?” Samantha asked. Kate and I both looked at each other in horror, thinking that our three-year-old had just said, “F*** you.”

“What?” I half-yelled. She repeated herself a bit louder and to our relief.

This event is similar to a folktale from Kate’s youth. When she and her siblings were quite young, during a drive Jim said to Kate, “Katie, when you grow up and get married, you’re going to be poor.”

According to legend Pat, who was driving at the time blew a gasket, screaming at her children for using such vulgar language. After her tirade, which left the kids confused and I’m sure permanently scarred, Jim explained that he had said “poor”. Pat had heard “(a) whore”.