Brace Face

I have always hated my teeth. My crooked snaggle-tooth mouth is the reason that I rarely smile in pictures. For some time I thought about correcting them, but was too cheap to spend the money on braces. Recently I began a teeth-whitening program, whereby I had some mold of my teeth made. Each night I had to cram the molds into my mouth after filling them with a gel that burned the hell out of my gums. The molds must fit snug, and are an exact impression of my teeth. Looking at the shape of my molds, which should have been horseshoe shaped but weren't even close, I decided to get them fixed.

This past Tuesday I spent 2 hours in an orthodontist's chair getting the brackets bonded to my teeth, and ratcheted down with a chicken wire. I now get to spend up to two years with these things pulling my teeth apart. But hey, it's worth it.

There is really only one downside of the braces: my eating habit. The first day I had them I nearly popped a piece of taffy in my trap. It would have been disastrous. In only three days I have completely changed my eating habits, consuming significantly less. How am I ever going to keep up with Jeff in an eating contest when I can't get most of the grub in my chompers?

Oh, and if you are hoping for pictures, you can forget it...