'And This One Time, at Girl's Camp...'

When Whitney was just a toddler, Kate was called to help with girl’s camp. This was a challenge, as Kate is someone who does not camp. Kate’s job was to coordinate the meals for the week. So I tagged along for the camp trip. I was expecting an experience similar to what I knew of scout camp. I was wrong. Ten years later I returned to girl’s camp. This year was Whitney’s first year, and I decided to go along, because I was concerned about how she would get along. As a Priesthood holder, my only duty was to be there in case of emergency. Our good friend Francie joked that I would be bored out of my mind while there. There wasn’t a whole lot to do, so I made a list of things that I learned about girl’s camp:
- A song can break out at any moment.
- At scout camp, the discovery of a dead animal is a call to poke it with a stick. At girl’s camp it is a call for a proper burial.
- Girls may look sweet and innocent, but they can be really mean to each other.
- Each camp table was equipped with a bottle of hand sanitizer. All of them were completely used up by the end of the second day.
- During arts and crafts time I am as useless as tits on a boar.
- The bishop doesn’t appreciate the term ‘tits on a boar’.
- The girls do a hell of a lot of arts and crafts.
- I was told to bring something along to pass the time. Then I got in trouble for watching Goodfellas on my iPod.
- Not only is there running water at girl’s camp, the bathroom is stocked with hand sanitizer, lotion and a basket filled with neatly folded paper towels. Every time I went to pee I wondered if I should leave a tip.
- Unlike scout camp, I cannot pee where I please.
- When your daughter makes you a pink tie-dyed t-shirt for camp, you can’t use the word ‘gay’, even if you’re joking.
- The girls actually pack all garbage out to a dumpster. Seriously? Do they not know that everything burns?
- At scout camp, a fly in the food signifies a little extra protein in the meal. At girl’s camp, it means you scrap the whole meal and go to the backup meal.

All joking aside, it was a good time. The reason I was concerned about Whitney was because of her fear of the outdoors. When she was little, Kate and I took her camping down at Timpanogos. A heavy thunder storm rolled in the last night, and scared the crap out of her. After that, for about a year, each time she went outside, she would stop and use her fingers to scrape the bottoms of her shoes before crossing the threshold. She would then walk with one hand over her head and the other across her belly until she was back inside again. Even now she rarely goes outside, and even jumps up to slam the door if anyone leaves it open. It is as if she fears the outside coming inside.

I only stayed the day on Thursday. I arrived early to oversee the hike (which is more of a nature walk than a hike). After watching how well Whitney was doing I decided that it was best for me to leave her with her friends and leaders and fly on her own. She was very excited for the archery and zip line they were to do this morning. I am sure that she will be filthy dirty and happy as a clam when she gets home tomorrow.

I was told that the night before I arrived the girls had banana boats for dessert. She told all of the girls that they needed to thank me, as it was my recipe. Of course, I took the credit. I already know that I am probably going to have to go for the duration next year. Whitney told the camp director that I am a great dutch oven cook, and that I would be happy to make all of the desserts for camp next year. And she was right.