A Raw (Sewage) Deal

Last night was pretty crappy. Literally. I was looking forward to a nice relaxing evening. There is a 3 hour gap on Thursdays between when Kate has to leave for work and when I get home. Our usual Thursday babysitter was unavailable, so I took a half day off from work. My plan was maybe to get a run in before dinner and take it easy. My last midterm was Wednesday, and I have ten days of Spring Break, so I have no homework.

While sitting in a training session I got a text from Kate: We have a situation. My first assumption was that one of the kids had broken something or needed stitches. I called her and found out that she had started a load of laundry before leaving for yoga, and returned home to find that the wash room and the basement bathtub had been flooded with raw sewage.

My first thought was to call Roto-Rooter, because poop is something I didn’t want any part of. But I was asked to be cost conscious, so went down and rented a 100 foot sewage snake. I opened the floor drain in the laundry room, but couldn’t get the snake bit to make the sharp turn down the drain. Nor could I get it down the washout behind the washer.

Mike came over to help and suggested that we take the toilet off and go that route. This was a good idea. After a couple of passes with the cable we stumbled across a whole roll of toilet paper that had been flushed, but hadn’t quite made it to the street. No one has fessed up to it, but I have my suspicions. I won’t name and names but her name starts with Lauren.

I learned a lot about sewage snakes. Because the motor is twisting to increase tension on the cable, if you pull too much out of the cage, it will bind up and crush your fingers. Also, if it binds, a loop can form, which, when is smacks you on the wrist, it hurts. Bad. I also discovered that as you feed the cable out, the cage turns to feed out. The cage also turns when you are feeding the cable back in. Since the cable has been down in the pipes, it is covered with all of the goodness that is found down there. So when it is winding back in the cage, it sprays all of that joy all over creation. It is a messy, stinky, nasty affair.

I had called my dad a couple of times with questions, so he decided to drop by and offer assistance. I think he was relieved that we were about done by the time he got there. Mike and I looked like the Keystone Cops working that machine. Sorry, Mike. The truth hurts. You, me, Drew, we’re all in the same boat. Usually Patrick likes to have his hands in whatever home improvement project is currently being worked on. Her came down, asked a few questions, gagged, and we didn’t see him again.

Those who frequent my blog will recall a post I made a few weeks ago wherein I spoke of the need to have the house clean before Kate gets home from work. Never was that more the case than last nights. When you have little kids, and you neglect them in favor of a project like this, they find ways to amuse themselves, and those ways are always messy. Especially when Whitney makes dinner. So once we had the drain clear, I had to put the toilet back in place, bleach and Pine Sol every square inch of the bathroom, clean the laundry room floor, and then clean the rest of the house, which looked as though a bomb had exploded. Eventually order was restored and all is right with the world.

Usually when I make blog posts without pictures I am chastised. I don’t think anyone will mind this time though.